Mental Procrastination
Musings of a corrupted mind.[ The Sprog Blog | Doi Bong | Digital Eye | MegaHAL | Mental Procrastination ]
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I'm working on a prototype. I can't tell you much about it, although, if you know me, you've probably heard me talk about it when slightly inebriated. The plan is to deliver the prototype to Sony this Friday. It's fun to be working on something that needs to be good enough to demonstrate a concept, and to have to get that done in only a day or two. In the best case scenario, Sony will like it, and will buy the complete, worldwide rights for the tech, in perpetuity, from me for a bazillion dollars. In the worst case scenario, I will have derived satisfaction from finishing a pet project. So it's a win-win. Cool, eh?
Monday, August 21, 2006
Well, it's been a while since I've posted here. A lot has happened in the interim, some of which you'll get the gist of by reading my other blogs, which you'll find in the header above.
Why resurrect this blog now, you ask? The answer is simple. I've been thinking about hobby projects, thinking about the software development process, thinking about games programming, reading other software blogs, and thought that it's about time that I contributed my two cents. This probably makes you think that perhaps I might have something to contribute. I doubt it. Rather, I need a better way of thinking out loud than talking to myself while I'm taking a shower.
One thing I need to get straight from the beginning is this: I'm not a terribly gifted programmer. At work, I find myself surrounded by programmers that are better than me at the actual act of writing computer programs, pretty much regardless of which metric you care to choose. They can pump out code quicker than me, they are more insightful during debugging sessions, and their knowledge of the inner workings of compilers and computers is superior to mine. The thing that sets me apart from them is, I suppose, my love of writing programs that do interesting things, my love of different ways of writing software, and the way in which I actually go about it.
To me, programming is a craft, and good craftsmen pay attention to detail, and derive pleasure from building something that is beautiful, as well as being useful. Everyday crafstmen may pay more attention to building something in short order, or building something that goes faster. True crafstmen don't care about that. They labour over their work in order to create something that, in their heart of hearts, they are not ashamed of. True crafstmen don't quickly hack up a bit of code to get things working so they can move on to their next task. No, they polish the code until it shines, even if the difference is only apparent to themselves, and invisible to any external observer. I aspire to be a true craftsman.
I've been thinking about buzzwords used in reference to the software development process, and I've decided that all you really need to think about, day in, day out, are two things, and two things only.
Occam's Razor encourages one to write code that is simple. That is, of two possible implementations of a program, the one that is subjectively simpler is the one that should be pursued. This nicely embodies the points made in the Agile Manifesto, and recalls the oft-mentioned KISS methodology. Occam's Razor, which may be paraphrased as "the simplest code that works is probably the best code", also leaves it up to us to decide what exactly is meant by simple and best. Simple, for example, may be interpreted that the code should respect an established coding standard, and that we should minimise abstraction, while best may initially mean that the unit tests should pass, but, over time, may transform into meaning that the program should meet some minimal set of performance criteria. This nicely encompasses the good advice of "optimise last".
Dynamic Quality is an altogether different kettle of fish, and nicely balances the principle of Occam's Razor. It specifies that we should write code that is beautiful, in that undefinable, aesthetic sense of the word. The idea comes from Pirsig's "Metaphysics of Quality", where it is defined as that recognition of goodness that precedes intellectual thought. If we can recognise good music, good writing and physical beauty without thinking about what rules we're following in order to decide that we perceive goodness, then why not ask ourselves to write code that invokes similar feelings? Dynamic Quality, once studied, may be extracted into Static Quality, and thereby form part of the set of patterns that we apply habitually and consciously. Before this moment occurs, we can still recognise Quality, and we should still demand it of ourselves.
When a developer needs to fix a trivial bug in a short amount of time, and the code that they are working with is messy and convoluted, with layers of unnecessary abstraction and coupling, and so on, they have a choice. They can get their work done quickly, and move on to something new and more interesting, or they can role up their sleeves and do a job to be proud of, not only fixing the bug, but increasing the Quality of the system as a whole. The satisfaction that one experiences when working this way is a just reward, and makes typically boring monkey work much more interesting. Producing Quality work nicely balances the desire to ride Occam's Razor, as making things simple may negatively impact their Quality. Bearing both these in mind will, I believe, bear fruit.
This is, essentially, a Philosophy of software development.
Why resurrect this blog now, you ask? The answer is simple. I've been thinking about hobby projects, thinking about the software development process, thinking about games programming, reading other software blogs, and thought that it's about time that I contributed my two cents. This probably makes you think that perhaps I might have something to contribute. I doubt it. Rather, I need a better way of thinking out loud than talking to myself while I'm taking a shower.
One thing I need to get straight from the beginning is this: I'm not a terribly gifted programmer. At work, I find myself surrounded by programmers that are better than me at the actual act of writing computer programs, pretty much regardless of which metric you care to choose. They can pump out code quicker than me, they are more insightful during debugging sessions, and their knowledge of the inner workings of compilers and computers is superior to mine. The thing that sets me apart from them is, I suppose, my love of writing programs that do interesting things, my love of different ways of writing software, and the way in which I actually go about it.
To me, programming is a craft, and good craftsmen pay attention to detail, and derive pleasure from building something that is beautiful, as well as being useful. Everyday crafstmen may pay more attention to building something in short order, or building something that goes faster. True crafstmen don't care about that. They labour over their work in order to create something that, in their heart of hearts, they are not ashamed of. True crafstmen don't quickly hack up a bit of code to get things working so they can move on to their next task. No, they polish the code until it shines, even if the difference is only apparent to themselves, and invisible to any external observer. I aspire to be a true craftsman.
I've been thinking about buzzwords used in reference to the software development process, and I've decided that all you really need to think about, day in, day out, are two things, and two things only.
- Occam's Razor.
- Dynamic Quality.
Occam's Razor encourages one to write code that is simple. That is, of two possible implementations of a program, the one that is subjectively simpler is the one that should be pursued. This nicely embodies the points made in the Agile Manifesto, and recalls the oft-mentioned KISS methodology. Occam's Razor, which may be paraphrased as "the simplest code that works is probably the best code", also leaves it up to us to decide what exactly is meant by simple and best. Simple, for example, may be interpreted that the code should respect an established coding standard, and that we should minimise abstraction, while best may initially mean that the unit tests should pass, but, over time, may transform into meaning that the program should meet some minimal set of performance criteria. This nicely encompasses the good advice of "optimise last".
Dynamic Quality is an altogether different kettle of fish, and nicely balances the principle of Occam's Razor. It specifies that we should write code that is beautiful, in that undefinable, aesthetic sense of the word. The idea comes from Pirsig's "Metaphysics of Quality", where it is defined as that recognition of goodness that precedes intellectual thought. If we can recognise good music, good writing and physical beauty without thinking about what rules we're following in order to decide that we perceive goodness, then why not ask ourselves to write code that invokes similar feelings? Dynamic Quality, once studied, may be extracted into Static Quality, and thereby form part of the set of patterns that we apply habitually and consciously. Before this moment occurs, we can still recognise Quality, and we should still demand it of ourselves.
When a developer needs to fix a trivial bug in a short amount of time, and the code that they are working with is messy and convoluted, with layers of unnecessary abstraction and coupling, and so on, they have a choice. They can get their work done quickly, and move on to something new and more interesting, or they can role up their sleeves and do a job to be proud of, not only fixing the bug, but increasing the Quality of the system as a whole. The satisfaction that one experiences when working this way is a just reward, and makes typically boring monkey work much more interesting. Producing Quality work nicely balances the desire to ride Occam's Razor, as making things simple may negatively impact their Quality. Bearing both these in mind will, I believe, bear fruit.
This is, essentially, a Philosophy of software development.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
This 'ere is a little game I writ, based on the pause mode of Yak's classic C64 game "Iridis Alpha". Download, enjoy, and try it on yer friends!
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Well, I s'pose I'll amuse myself for a few weeks by posting bits and pieces from my old home page. So, here's another one.
The person who provided most of the amusement in the original "electricity kills" web page has requested that it be deleted, since after three years he finds it "bloodthirsty and vindictive" and compares it to the humiliation and victimisation of a fellow human being by Roman crowds at the Colosseum. He also felt that it was an attack by somebody better off on somebody worse off. I'm shocked that my intentions have been so drastically misinterpreted. My initial reaction was to delete the page out of fear that the person in question must be mentally unstable, and that the slightest provocation might push him over the edge.
In a subsequent email thanking me for self-censoring the page, the complainant drew an analogy with a war veteran being reminded of the war. But surely this happens all the time? There are enough war movies, war memorials, war documentaries and books about war to drive any veteran around the bend. I'm not going to censor my web page because it serves to remind someone of a distressing period of their life. Bad luck. All of the original newsgroup postings are being stored at Deja, which is now being resurrected by Google, and surely they are far more traumatic than my amusing summary of events anyway?
This web page is not a "constant and unpleasant reminder" of your past. Don't look at it if you don't want to be reminded. I've changed your name and email address in what follows so nobody need know it was you. Putting this page back on the air has nothing to do with you. I abhor censorship, and I simply won't do it without good reason.
And, please, stop worrying about who's better off and who's worse off. Sure, there are millions of people in this world better off than you. But there are billions worse off than you. Imagine how your petty issue looks in comparison. It's been three years. Quit blaming others. Move on with your life. Laugh at your mistakes. Look on the bright side. Be your own worst critic. Take things with a grain of salt. Venture outside the ivory tower you've built yourself. It's a beautiful day and millions of people are starving to death.
the original "electricity kills" page
Over the last two weeks, one particular thread on the aus.tv newsgroup has grown out of control. I'm sure all regular lurkers know what I'm on about. For the benefit of those who couldn't be bothered reading every article in the thread, here's a summary of what happened. All events are in chronological order:
On the 17th of April, 1998, Steve posted a rather innocuous message to aus.tv. His mum had told him that a man was killed on the live television show "Reg Lindsay's Country And Western Hour" when someone threw a bucket of water over him while he was using a microphone during a comedy skit. Fish! responded by asking whether microphones generate enough amps to kill someone.
Gordon (not his real name) replied with a detailed post, which unfortunately began with the rather ambiguous claim that "it is not the amps which flow through the cord which is the problem, it is the voltage that you measure across the microphone plug that is the problem". Thorfinn dared to question Gordon's explanation, and he began his reply by using the ever provocative word "Bzzt" which, apart from being a nice (if unintentional) pun, seemed to offend Gordon greatly. Thorfinn continued by stating that "current (amperage) kills, not voltage".
Gordon responded by clarifying his answer, explaining that although current is the killer, it is the current flowing through the person, and not that flowing through the microphone, which is the true culprit. At this point, Tim intervened, suggesting that the thread migrate to alt.tastless (presumably because he thought a discussion about how electricity kills was in poor taste).
Gordon justified the thread by explaining that he was defending himself "against a patronising and unwarranted attack", claiming that Thorfinn portrayed him as an idiot, and possibly deliberately misinterpreted his original message. Was it all to do with the "Bzzt"? Had there been private email correspondence? Or were Gordon and Thorfinn at war before the thread even began? One must wonder, because there is no evidence that Thorfinn had said anything personally offensive (at least compared to the average Usenet post).
Tim replied with a perplexing message: "But guess what? Your name is now in the hands of the SQUICKMASTERS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!" I have searched the Web for information on "SQUICKMASTERS" to no avail. Andrew continued the technical discussion, while zaphy wanted to know whether it was safe for him to stick a 9V battery on his tongue for a "tinkle". Yours truly followed up with an anecdote of his own youthful experiments with batteries.
Daniel suggested sci.electronic.dweebfactor would be a better newsgroup for the thread to migrate to, while Thorfinn and Gordon continued their debate. Robin chipped in at this point, suggesting an experiment whereby Gordon would be zapped with a few amps, and Thorfinn by lots of volts, the survivor being declared the winner. In true aus.tv fashion, Robin was having a bit of fun prolonging the thread by throwing stones from the sidelines.
Huey piped in with a comment that "30 microamps will stop the human heart", and Eben quickly pointed out that it will also restart the heart. zaphy had a bit of fun with this, implying that you should always try to get zapped an even number of times.
Around this time, Thorfinn posted an article which began with the line "Someone that's done physics more recently should pipe up here". Gordon claimed this was an attempt to "undermine my knowledge with patronising comments and sarcasm". Gordon stated his own qualifications in detail, and demanded that Thorfinn do the same. si waltzed in to point out that Gordon didn't state his argument clearly in lay terms in the first place.
Gordon also complained that Robin missed the point by proposing his little experiment. Steve moved in to argue that Robin was being sarcastic, and was "lightening up a thread that had become far too misled by its own 'importance'". Gordon agreed that he was sick of the thread, and suggested that it was Thorfinn who was prolonging it. Steve felt obliged to mention that Gordon was partially to blame, by responding rapidly to each of Thorfinn's posts. Gordon responded by stating that he was maintaining his reputation, and that he felt like a hunted animal.
At about this point, Tim returned, claiming that Gordon had written to his University to complain about his post. This caught everyone by surprise, since Tim's two posts were fairly harmless. Gordon defended his actions by stating that he never received a thank-you email when he sent Tim the words to the extended mix of the Rimmer Munchkin Song. Just as everyone was recovering from extended bouts of hysterical laughter, Robin returned onto the scene. He expressed in very strong language his displeasure of having Gordon attempt to cancel his account. No doubt everyone was wondering what Robin forgot to thank Gordon for! Thorfinn then revealed that Gordon tried to get his account suspended too, but this came as no surprise. Gordon justified his actions by saying that Thorfinn hadn't yet posted his qualifications, and was probably spouting rubbish the whole time.
In a rather large nutshell, that's what's been happening on aus.tv the last two weeks. Stay tuned for more in the continuing saga which is the "Man Killed on Live TV" thread! Will Robin need to continue posting from an Internet cafe? Will Thorfinn post his qualifications? Will Tim explain what a "squick" is? Will Gordon get off his high horse and stop trying to cancel people's accounts? Will Toastie ever return from the USA? How long is a piece of string? And where the hell is Possum Bits?
The person who provided most of the amusement in the original "electricity kills" web page has requested that it be deleted, since after three years he finds it "bloodthirsty and vindictive" and compares it to the humiliation and victimisation of a fellow human being by Roman crowds at the Colosseum. He also felt that it was an attack by somebody better off on somebody worse off. I'm shocked that my intentions have been so drastically misinterpreted. My initial reaction was to delete the page out of fear that the person in question must be mentally unstable, and that the slightest provocation might push him over the edge.
In a subsequent email thanking me for self-censoring the page, the complainant drew an analogy with a war veteran being reminded of the war. But surely this happens all the time? There are enough war movies, war memorials, war documentaries and books about war to drive any veteran around the bend. I'm not going to censor my web page because it serves to remind someone of a distressing period of their life. Bad luck. All of the original newsgroup postings are being stored at Deja, which is now being resurrected by Google, and surely they are far more traumatic than my amusing summary of events anyway?
This web page is not a "constant and unpleasant reminder" of your past. Don't look at it if you don't want to be reminded. I've changed your name and email address in what follows so nobody need know it was you. Putting this page back on the air has nothing to do with you. I abhor censorship, and I simply won't do it without good reason.
And, please, stop worrying about who's better off and who's worse off. Sure, there are millions of people in this world better off than you. But there are billions worse off than you. Imagine how your petty issue looks in comparison. It's been three years. Quit blaming others. Move on with your life. Laugh at your mistakes. Look on the bright side. Be your own worst critic. Take things with a grain of salt. Venture outside the ivory tower you've built yourself. It's a beautiful day and millions of people are starving to death.
the original "electricity kills" page
Over the last two weeks, one particular thread on the aus.tv newsgroup has grown out of control. I'm sure all regular lurkers know what I'm on about. For the benefit of those who couldn't be bothered reading every article in the thread, here's a summary of what happened. All events are in chronological order:
On the 17th of April, 1998, Steve posted a rather innocuous message to aus.tv. His mum had told him that a man was killed on the live television show "Reg Lindsay's Country And Western Hour" when someone threw a bucket of water over him while he was using a microphone during a comedy skit. Fish! responded by asking whether microphones generate enough amps to kill someone.
Gordon (not his real name) replied with a detailed post, which unfortunately began with the rather ambiguous claim that "it is not the amps which flow through the cord which is the problem, it is the voltage that you measure across the microphone plug that is the problem". Thorfinn dared to question Gordon's explanation, and he began his reply by using the ever provocative word "Bzzt" which, apart from being a nice (if unintentional) pun, seemed to offend Gordon greatly. Thorfinn continued by stating that "current (amperage) kills, not voltage".
Gordon responded by clarifying his answer, explaining that although current is the killer, it is the current flowing through the person, and not that flowing through the microphone, which is the true culprit. At this point, Tim intervened, suggesting that the thread migrate to alt.tastless (presumably because he thought a discussion about how electricity kills was in poor taste).
Gordon justified the thread by explaining that he was defending himself "against a patronising and unwarranted attack", claiming that Thorfinn portrayed him as an idiot, and possibly deliberately misinterpreted his original message. Was it all to do with the "Bzzt"? Had there been private email correspondence? Or were Gordon and Thorfinn at war before the thread even began? One must wonder, because there is no evidence that Thorfinn had said anything personally offensive (at least compared to the average Usenet post).
Tim replied with a perplexing message: "But guess what? Your name is now in the hands of the SQUICKMASTERS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!" I have searched the Web for information on "SQUICKMASTERS" to no avail. Andrew continued the technical discussion, while zaphy wanted to know whether it was safe for him to stick a 9V battery on his tongue for a "tinkle". Yours truly followed up with an anecdote of his own youthful experiments with batteries.
Daniel suggested sci.electronic.dweebfactor would be a better newsgroup for the thread to migrate to, while Thorfinn and Gordon continued their debate. Robin chipped in at this point, suggesting an experiment whereby Gordon would be zapped with a few amps, and Thorfinn by lots of volts, the survivor being declared the winner. In true aus.tv fashion, Robin was having a bit of fun prolonging the thread by throwing stones from the sidelines.
Huey piped in with a comment that "30 microamps will stop the human heart", and Eben quickly pointed out that it will also restart the heart. zaphy had a bit of fun with this, implying that you should always try to get zapped an even number of times.
Around this time, Thorfinn posted an article which began with the line "Someone that's done physics more recently should pipe up here". Gordon claimed this was an attempt to "undermine my knowledge with patronising comments and sarcasm". Gordon stated his own qualifications in detail, and demanded that Thorfinn do the same. si waltzed in to point out that Gordon didn't state his argument clearly in lay terms in the first place.
Gordon also complained that Robin missed the point by proposing his little experiment. Steve moved in to argue that Robin was being sarcastic, and was "lightening up a thread that had become far too misled by its own 'importance'". Gordon agreed that he was sick of the thread, and suggested that it was Thorfinn who was prolonging it. Steve felt obliged to mention that Gordon was partially to blame, by responding rapidly to each of Thorfinn's posts. Gordon responded by stating that he was maintaining his reputation, and that he felt like a hunted animal.
At about this point, Tim returned, claiming that Gordon had written to his University to complain about his post. This caught everyone by surprise, since Tim's two posts were fairly harmless. Gordon defended his actions by stating that he never received a thank-you email when he sent Tim the words to the extended mix of the Rimmer Munchkin Song. Just as everyone was recovering from extended bouts of hysterical laughter, Robin returned onto the scene. He expressed in very strong language his displeasure of having Gordon attempt to cancel his account. No doubt everyone was wondering what Robin forgot to thank Gordon for! Thorfinn then revealed that Gordon tried to get his account suspended too, but this came as no surprise. Gordon justified his actions by saying that Thorfinn hadn't yet posted his qualifications, and was probably spouting rubbish the whole time.
In a rather large nutshell, that's what's been happening on aus.tv the last two weeks. Stay tuned for more in the continuing saga which is the "Man Killed on Live TV" thread! Will Robin need to continue posting from an Internet cafe? Will Thorfinn post his qualifications? Will Tim explain what a "squick" is? Will Gordon get off his high horse and stop trying to cancel people's accounts? Will Toastie ever return from the USA? How long is a piece of string? And where the hell is Possum Bits?
Friday, September 12, 2003
Hello, world.
I'm going to start this weblog with a blast from the past... a reproduction of a section of my homepage circa 1997 that enshrined Kenny from Hong Kong, the funniest and most enlightening USENET troll of all time.
This Web page is devoted to Kenny; a troll who has gained the respect of almost all of the readers of the aus.tv newsgroup. Kenny has been sent from "the God" to teach Australians just how wonderful free-to-air television is in Hong Kong. Apart from frequently posting television schedules, he offers unsolicited advice as to how we can improve our dismal lives. This Shrine serves to archive his most sage outpourings.
Kenny's Koans
Novice Possum travelled to the Master's hut, to find him watching a video. Asked Novice Possum, "Will it make the world a better place if people in Hong Kong have more advanced video players?". Master Kenny considered her sensible question, and eventually spake, "Not a better place but a better quality in video playback. That's so simple you dumb ass." Novice Possum shook her head in confusion. "Did a scientist from Hong Kong discover penicillin?", she asked. The Master sprang to his feet, and danced mockingly as he chanted, "`did did did did'... are you singing a song?". As she watched the Master perform the `Chicken Tonight' dance, Novice Possum became enlightened.
For forty days and forty nights Novice Chacmul travelled across the desert on his mule, to pay homage to Master Kenny. They met in a brick house, where the Master was installing his new PentiumII 266 PC. Said Novice Chacmul, "I use a 386... I don't feel the need to get a fake dick." Master Kenny closed his eyes, and sighed in exasperation. Finally, he whispered softly, "your dick is not function anyway." Novice Chacmul weighed up the sage words, and was enlightened.
Master Kenny and Novice Fish! sailed across a lake in a magnificent boat. Novice Fish! had become perplexed with the Master's ways. He raised his flippers is despair, and yelled, "I think perhaps your Father used to say `Shut the fuck up Kenny' and over time you've misremembered." Master Kenny pushed Novice Fish! overboard. As Novice Fish! surfaced, spluttering in the icy water, the Master spoke, "your mother was fucked by a shark so you came to this world". As the Master sailed away, he added, "Cats eat fishs". Bobbing in the water, Novice Fish! was enlightened.
Master Kenny and Novice Toastie finished watching Pulp Fiction on the Master's Sony 16" KV-V16MN2. Novice Toastie turned to the Master and complained, "Well, they could have cut it to MA (and leave the FUCKS in)". Even as he inserted a video cassette of infomercials, Master Kenny turned and spoke, "You spend hours and hours everyday here just for complaining that no `Fuck' words on TV? What a fucking, retarded, dumb country-brother?" As Novice Toastie considered these words, the Master added, "You want `fuck', go to sex toy shops then!". At that moment, Novice Toastie was enlightened.
Novice Keith read some of the Master's advice, and became angered. He approached the Master, saying, "I don't think Kenny is really from asiaonline.net. My posts in hk.entertainment which were offensive to Kenny were killed by somebody from netvigator.com!" The Master listened to Novice Keith silently, then told him, "Do you have a job? Are you an Australian Gay Asian who stay home & waiting for Unemployment benefit. Did I embarrase you? I did nothing wrong, Keith So, you are a fucking dumb gay Asian." Novice Keith listened to the Master, and became enlightened.
Novice Louis, increasingly frustrated with the Master's riddles, approached him and spoke, "You must be almost unbelievibly stupid". The Master sighed, replying, "not me but YOU". Novice Louis considered these words, and was enlightened.
Novice Dan was becoming skilled in the ways of the Master. To test his progress, he approached the Master and stated, "You sir, are a DICKHEAD." Master Kenny slowly shook his head with dissapointment before responding with, "you are fucking dick head.. Go to milk your cow..." Dejected, Novice Dan began to walk away. Suddenly, he was enlightened.
The Movie Show
The Piano
I watched the last 40 mins on TV live few months ago, "the lady's finger get cut off by her boy friend because she had a love affair with a jungle man!" Finally, she jumped into the sea and kills herself!
Naked Lunch
Shit film. ugly creatures and the visual effect much like "Dick Tracy" I watched it on TV live but changed channel when the first commercial break came.
Malice
Right now I'm watching "Malice" on TVB-Pearl, anyone ever heard of this film?? It's scarey but I don't understand.
Leaving Las Vegas
It is not entertain because it looks like a documentary or a current affair program about prositition. It's boring. If someone told me that there would be a rape sence in the film then I'm sure I will pay more attention to my idiotic box. If a film is lack of plots, a rape sence can really spice it up.
From Dusk Till Dawn
The Chinese young boy in the film is cute and that is. It's a stupid vampire movie for kids. Blow his head off. Like playing video game! The girl in the film, what's her name? She also appears in "Cape Fear". Again, I have to press fast-forward often!
Consenting Adults
I picked up one VHS tape and watch it. It's a movie called "Consenting Adults" which was taped from TV (not sure when). I fast-forword the first 40 min then found something interesting.. it's about exchanging wives then murdering. Hmmm... excuse me, how common is such kinky stuff in Australia?
French Kiss
The girl who got her pass-port stolen met a French guy. Then that French guy help her to find her husband who is having an affair with a French lady.. Am I right? I think it's a comedy, but I didn't laugh at all
Priest
How come the credit at the beginning says "BBC production". BBC is a radio station from England right? The film is bad because, unlike other movies, the color was too dull. BBC needs to upgrade their equipment!
The Shawshank Redemption
I thought it's a horror movie since the Chinese title "Full Moon Mid-night Fly Away" sounds like a sci-fiction movie. Actually, it's a movie about prison rape. The film was a bit bored and I missed the first hour and fell for sleep after watching it for 30 mins. A guy from Ireland told me this film could change my life! Really?
Pulp Fiction
The film is just talk talk talk like a talk show. I didn't think what they say were funny. "How French people called Big Mac??? Quarter??" "Fire, Five Fox", "Tomato sauce = catch up = ketchup"???? Very boring. I taped the film and watched it in the next morning with fast-forward key press a lot!!!
Heavenly Creatures
Two lesbians kill one's mother, the film is presented in an opera style, too much opera music at background, boring! the director present the story in a very artistic and abstract way. There was one scene about the lesbian & a guy are having sex and the picture suddenly went to an amuseme park where she was dancing to a stone man. piss me off!
I Love Hong Kong
I suddenly find that how much I love Hong Kong.
I feel that I'm really lucky to be borned here.
Anywhere better than Hong Kong???
We have MD, DVD, all the latest model, we can even catch up what's hot in Japan (paralled import).
So many big shopping malls, nice and beautiful, huge choices of consumer products and cheap (compare to other countries, ha ha ha)
People are wealthy*, the city is advance and nice, superior transportation:
Eastern railway (Trains), Western railyway (Trains), Light Railway, MTR (subway), and the only railway in the world that service the airport!!!
Look at Japan, they actually far worse than us. Expensive living cost, low income, an apartment is bloody expensive, at least twice the cost as in Hong Kong and Japanese's salaries are only 50% higher than us (My teacher told me)!!
If Hong Kong is not that good, why those people who has migrated overseas all coming back**???
Hong Kong is the best, ALWAYS!
*(Note:a doctor in Hong Kong earn HK$60K+ or A$10K+ per month and maximum income tax is only 15%)
** (note: I personally think migrants can*** find a good job overseas)
*** (note: can = cannot)
Kenny's Opinions
Shakespeare
I don't know what Shakespeare is but I'm sure your under-pant is a cheap stuff from China.
Star Trek
Oh.. ye, a guy in the show has an animal ears... only dumber like you believe he is really come from outer-space.. dumb idoit
Jeans
My cousin said that it's common to see an Aussie man has his dick been pushed to the right or left because of his poorly designed jeans (or due to his big cock?)
Washing Machines
Actually, you can cover your washing machine with a thick coat. Not only for reducing noise but for good vibration. Sit on it and relax and I'm sure you will get a good orgasm for an hour. You don't need to buy a Panasonic massage lounger.
New Zealanders
When I met my Japanese friend in a hostel 2 weeks ago, there was a back-packer from NewZealand in the same room. That NewZealand man has been here for nearly 3 months. He worked as a bartender in a night club and saving money for his trip to South East Asia. He told me that Australians brag a lot, many of them are ignorant and believe that the 100" big-screen TV in "Total Recall" is real.
ABBA
I never heard of Ababa (most Hong Kong youth never heard of it, it is an old rock band from swizieland).
Madonna
"Madoona - The Girlie Show" on Hong Kong Free-to-air TV in December, 1993 while she was stilling having her concerts been held in Australia. Ever on Australian TV?
Mobile Phones
I use phone about 15 times a day (below average). My friend gets his phone rings almost every 10 - 20 mins. The guy behind me got his mobile phone ring 4 times during a 10 min bus journey.
Toastie and Chacmul and Fish!
These 3 country-brothers spend at least 3 hours a day here complaining no "fuck" words can be heard on TV. They are retarded, dumb losers. They don't have a proper job so they just sitting in front of their dated, rotatry-dial old TV sets and waiting for "fuck" words. Australian TV, please let them hear some "fuck" word or they can't sleep well...
Telephone Companies
Hong Kong Telecom is the only company providing domestic telephone system. All households in Hong Kong pay HK$68 (A$11.3) per month for unlimited access. People here use phone a lot. On average, one hong konger use phone 28 times per day. Since early 1991, all telephone exchanges here had been digitalised, that is "Tone Dialing".
University
Well, you know, Australia is selling their education to us, you can see Australian University advertisements on newspapers everyday. Why do they target at us if they don't like us?
Volume
Well, back to 10 years ago, I had nothng to complain our TV broadcasting. Until recently, my patient run out. During a TV show (especailly movies), the conversation is soft but action is loud. It's not as exaggerate as Laser Disc but do cause annoying, my father often shout to me "TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!!"
England
From the film, I thought the story background is based on sometime in 19th Century since so many old buildings around. No, I saw cars! God, how come England is so fall-behind? Hong Kong was British's colony but we are so advanced!
Software
Do you think that many Australians can afford to pay thousand of dollars for original software? Well, I can tell you that most of the PC users in Hong Kong have Office97 as well as other latest software installed. They can try all kinds of software that you have no chance to do this in your whole life, you dumb ass.
Sex
9 out of 10 Australian male had been to Thailand for cheap sex (Evidence: Australia has the highest HIV rate in Asia-Pacific region)
Aussie Ignorance
Next time when I see an Australian says "Well, sorry sir, there is no multi-system VCR in the world. All washing machines in the world are noisy." I really want to point a gun to his/her ass and shoot!
Women
Australian woman are rough, sexually hyper-active and not pretty at all.
Video Games
Video games in Australia are extremely dated (except for less professional American-designed games), very limited choices the price is ridiculous. A friend of mine who had been to Australia in 1992 told me that all SEGA Mega-bit video game consoles for sale in Australia were made-in-China while the version for sale in Hong Kong were made in Japan.
Australian TV
Channel 1: Interview with Back Street Boys (not concert, only interview)
Channel 2: Movie "Romancing the Stone" (5th re-run in last 2 years)
Channel 7: Cheap drama from USA "The Cheap File"
Channel 8: Let's talk about politics (the Government Channel)
Channel 10: US Animation "The Simpsons"
Channel 19: Cheap comedy "Murphy Brown"
DVD
No matter how many people says DVDs are great, how high the resolution is. My first impression was the picture is un-natural. And I believe that picture of TV braodcasting (in Hong Kong) is better than DVD!
Western Movies
It seems to me that most award winner western films that must be some kinds of wired plot + sex + violence + drug abuse.
Drugs
9 out of 10 Australian take drugs (Evidence: most of those foreginers who had been excuted in Asia are Australian)
Australia Australia is a refugee camp. nearly all Asians in Asutralia are refugees. By the way, it's a dumb, undeveloped, non-hi-tech land, I don't want to go there.
Japan
Japanese made better games simply because they invent computers, video games as well as video and audio system. That's simple... And American make better Hamburgers :)
Mr Bean
This special program doesn't sound attrctive to me, anyway, I do watch it for a while. Hmmmm.... it's a stage performance. Mr Bean played many roles, a waiter, a church member... I can hear lots of "laughing" (real or fake?) and I just don't think it's any funny. This program was transmitted in stereo (English) with Chinese subtitle.
Neighbours
"Neighbour" is a Australian show, right? (my cousin told me that). It was on TVB-Pearl in 1991 for about 2 months then was stopped due to no sponsors.
Chacmul
You are really funny. you have too much time fooling around. read everything reply every post. Get a job man. I mean a real job not blow job
TV Ratings
TVB-Jade (UHF ch.21 Cantonese) 75% no matter what's on!
TVB-Pearl (UHF ch.25 English) 5%
ATV-Home (UHF ch.23 Cantonese) 23%
ATV-World (UHF ch.27 English) 2%
4-Head VCR's
Lucky me, if i was borned in australia, I would believe the inferior 4-head HiFi VCR that cost me a forunate is the latest/best model in the world!
Washing Machines
Many Australians think their washing machines are the best (well, it might be true in 1960 when Panasonic was not born yet) actually they are the worst. Most Australians are using inferior washing machines and they don't realize that.
Whirlpools washing machines are available in Hong Kong. However, it has to compete against other Japanese brand washing machines in the market here. I asked my colleguaes this afternoon if they think Whirlpools is the best washing machine in Hong Kong. One of my colleguae own one and she said no. She complained that it takes nearly one hour to finish a washing while most Japanese brand washing machines take less than 40 min. Whirlpools maybe the best in Australia because it is the only one available there.
Japanese brand... Panasonic brand is the most popular follow by Hitachi .
Fuzzy Logic computerized control (built-in sensor to monitor washing process and adjust accordingly, auto detect clothes texture and auto adjust water-level, speed etc)
no spinning pole inside (washing machines in Australia have a spinning pole inside and it can damage clothes during a washing)
low noise (you can listen to your favorite classic while using it in your living room, a music will be played after your washing is done)
Stylish and superior design
Made in Japan
31 minutes for the whole course (standard course)
3.5 times more water-flow cycling, washing powder fully dissolved instantly.
best spin-dry result with "four-ports" design (bad translation)
"speed course" available, only takes 20 min for one washing
saving space design
(don't understand)
They are not available in Australia.
Kenny's Quotations
the God send me here to teach you
Stop showing off!!!
I hate people bragging.
I never insult people unless they insult me first.
Most of (Chacmul's) statements are wrong and without supported evidences.
Look at every article he has posted, what a lengthy garbage.
I just want to have funs. I'm to be considered an "odd" guy.
people here are aggressive and disgusting
fuck your gf... fuck her with a rotten pineapple... she is a fucking whore.
You probably say "we don't care, we don't want to know" blah blah blah... Fine, you don't need to know because you used to be ignorant idiots.
no one interest in reading your crappy, long, boring article.
Can you do this calculation: 14+8/2 = ??
what is a koala?
Hong Kong is not really great... but TV is...
Crap in Hong Kong could be a diamond in Australia.
Over 80% white Australian are racists.
Australians = Racisms always true.
I'm trying to open my mind, I am watching something what the majority of Hong Kong people don't.
Nothing to do at night, so i choose to watch TV.
Please choose good GARBAGE for me please.
No, I don't like "Sound of the music"...
A dated, inferior shit goes to Australia and can make lots of money.
crap crap crap... only Australian morns will believe you.
A friend of mine told me that not All White Australian Men hate Asians.
Poor lonely brother, I know you don't have any friend...
I thought Australian pissing in the street quite often.
I guess you must be a fucking stupid dumber.
One doesn't need to speak good English to be sucessed.
My job requires me to sit in front of a computer.
My Aunt's son is my cousin, you dumb ass.
A fucking dumb asshole like you should stay home.
No, my dog, Jeff, a huge German Shephed is fucking you. Check your asshole.
fuck fuck fuck fuck you, fuck off, fuck your ass, fuck your cunt, fuck fuck fuck fuck.... fuck your dog, fuck your pussy, fuck your mouth.. How lovely???
There are more than 600000 people in Hong Kong called Kenny.. HAHAHAHA.
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.
Powdered toast man has been fucked up by Amercian dung. He believes that his 1976's junk is the current model.
Apartments in Asutralia are big, people may have one TV in bathroom, one in each bedroom.
"A piece of shit cost a fortune" is what I heard about Australia...
If you believe what this country brother says, you are absolutely a dum idiot...
And you piss off, keep drinking your Kangaroo's urine!
Australia might be a nice a country to visit (to some people) if you like bush, cattles, crockcoach (lots of them).
Over 80% Australian holdhouse have TV reception problem.
Australia is probably the most yucky country in the world...
I left Australia in March 1995.
I don't have a girl friend, why bother to go to cinema??
Why don't you leave a real e-mail address? What a bastard?
People sick of your messages not mine...
Please stop bad-mouthing Caucasian. You are racism!!! And for those who bad-mouth Asians, you should die as well.
I've been lived overseas for years and not get used to Hong Kong culture after returning home!
If Australia is really god damn good, people should go there for shopping!!!
Most Australians are quite narrow-minded, moreover, the majority Asians in Australia are low-educated refugees.
Australians really good in bragging.
People like you should have their ass be shooted.
you wouldn't know if you didn't read, did you?
I don't want to read
i'm not going to say it again & again because you won't listen.
your opinions are welcome.
your VCR is a dido
and your mother a big sucker
Comments from the Converted
"I really really love you. Keep going guy. Thanks for spending hours for creating a homepage about HA HA HA HA HA (looks who is an idiot?)" - Kenny
"Just brilliant. I've been following Kenny since day 1. I love the man/boy?" - Rick
"I laughed so hard I came in my pants - twice. You can quote me on that." - Matt
"That Kenny Shrine is the best!! Long live Kenny!" - Andrew
"I'm a huge kenny fan and i'm going to make regular pilgrimages to this holiest of shrines..." - Pinky
"I laughed until I stopped." - Robert
"Close to the funniest site I've seen in ages." - Eric
"It IS the funniest site I've seen in ages." - Robs
"The Kenny shrine is THE funniest site this year!" - Geoff
"Long may he live to enlighten us with more of his wisdom" - ChrisH
"A masterpiece" - Dean
"Thank you for enlightenment. Kenny is the god you dumb ass." - Robin
"Very funny!" - Andrew
"It's so funny. I can't stop laughing at it." - Cazz
"BRILLIANT Stuff" - Novice Toastie
"I appreciated this homepage very much" - Brendan
"This site makes my big cock push to the left AND the right....simultaneously" - John
"It bent my wookie!" - Tim
"After following Kennys posts for the last few months, the web site brought back some wonderful memories." - Ben
"Laughing tears!" - S.
"I loved it .. and it is all his own work!" - Anon
"WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!" - Evan
"I seek enlightenment at you feet o master" - Trevi
"You white Austrlina big cock dumb ass funny man." - Quentin
"He IS a God ... and I am a dumb ass." - Chris
I'm going to start this weblog with a blast from the past... a reproduction of a section of my homepage circa 1997 that enshrined Kenny from Hong Kong, the funniest and most enlightening USENET troll of all time.
This Web page is devoted to Kenny; a troll who has gained the respect of almost all of the readers of the aus.tv newsgroup. Kenny has been sent from "the God" to teach Australians just how wonderful free-to-air television is in Hong Kong. Apart from frequently posting television schedules, he offers unsolicited advice as to how we can improve our dismal lives. This Shrine serves to archive his most sage outpourings.
Kenny's Koans
Novice Possum travelled to the Master's hut, to find him watching a video. Asked Novice Possum, "Will it make the world a better place if people in Hong Kong have more advanced video players?". Master Kenny considered her sensible question, and eventually spake, "Not a better place but a better quality in video playback. That's so simple you dumb ass." Novice Possum shook her head in confusion. "Did a scientist from Hong Kong discover penicillin?", she asked. The Master sprang to his feet, and danced mockingly as he chanted, "`did did did did'... are you singing a song?". As she watched the Master perform the `Chicken Tonight' dance, Novice Possum became enlightened.
For forty days and forty nights Novice Chacmul travelled across the desert on his mule, to pay homage to Master Kenny. They met in a brick house, where the Master was installing his new PentiumII 266 PC. Said Novice Chacmul, "I use a 386... I don't feel the need to get a fake dick." Master Kenny closed his eyes, and sighed in exasperation. Finally, he whispered softly, "your dick is not function anyway." Novice Chacmul weighed up the sage words, and was enlightened.
Master Kenny and Novice Fish! sailed across a lake in a magnificent boat. Novice Fish! had become perplexed with the Master's ways. He raised his flippers is despair, and yelled, "I think perhaps your Father used to say `Shut the fuck up Kenny' and over time you've misremembered." Master Kenny pushed Novice Fish! overboard. As Novice Fish! surfaced, spluttering in the icy water, the Master spoke, "your mother was fucked by a shark so you came to this world". As the Master sailed away, he added, "Cats eat fishs". Bobbing in the water, Novice Fish! was enlightened.
Master Kenny and Novice Toastie finished watching Pulp Fiction on the Master's Sony 16" KV-V16MN2. Novice Toastie turned to the Master and complained, "Well, they could have cut it to MA (and leave the FUCKS in)". Even as he inserted a video cassette of infomercials, Master Kenny turned and spoke, "You spend hours and hours everyday here just for complaining that no `Fuck' words on TV? What a fucking, retarded, dumb country-brother?" As Novice Toastie considered these words, the Master added, "You want `fuck', go to sex toy shops then!". At that moment, Novice Toastie was enlightened.
Novice Keith read some of the Master's advice, and became angered. He approached the Master, saying, "I don't think Kenny is really from asiaonline.net. My posts in hk.entertainment which were offensive to Kenny were killed by somebody from netvigator.com!" The Master listened to Novice Keith silently, then told him, "Do you have a job? Are you an Australian Gay Asian who stay home & waiting for Unemployment benefit. Did I embarrase you? I did nothing wrong, Keith So, you are a fucking dumb gay Asian." Novice Keith listened to the Master, and became enlightened.
Novice Louis, increasingly frustrated with the Master's riddles, approached him and spoke, "You must be almost unbelievibly stupid". The Master sighed, replying, "not me but YOU". Novice Louis considered these words, and was enlightened.
Novice Dan was becoming skilled in the ways of the Master. To test his progress, he approached the Master and stated, "You sir, are a DICKHEAD." Master Kenny slowly shook his head with dissapointment before responding with, "you are fucking dick head.. Go to milk your cow..." Dejected, Novice Dan began to walk away. Suddenly, he was enlightened.
The Movie Show
The Piano
I watched the last 40 mins on TV live few months ago, "the lady's finger get cut off by her boy friend because she had a love affair with a jungle man!" Finally, she jumped into the sea and kills herself!
Naked Lunch
Shit film. ugly creatures and the visual effect much like "Dick Tracy" I watched it on TV live but changed channel when the first commercial break came.
Malice
Right now I'm watching "Malice" on TVB-Pearl, anyone ever heard of this film?? It's scarey but I don't understand.
Leaving Las Vegas
It is not entertain because it looks like a documentary or a current affair program about prositition. It's boring. If someone told me that there would be a rape sence in the film then I'm sure I will pay more attention to my idiotic box. If a film is lack of plots, a rape sence can really spice it up.
From Dusk Till Dawn
The Chinese young boy in the film is cute and that is. It's a stupid vampire movie for kids. Blow his head off. Like playing video game! The girl in the film, what's her name? She also appears in "Cape Fear". Again, I have to press fast-forward often!
Consenting Adults
I picked up one VHS tape and watch it. It's a movie called "Consenting Adults" which was taped from TV (not sure when). I fast-forword the first 40 min then found something interesting.. it's about exchanging wives then murdering. Hmmm... excuse me, how common is such kinky stuff in Australia?
French Kiss
The girl who got her pass-port stolen met a French guy. Then that French guy help her to find her husband who is having an affair with a French lady.. Am I right? I think it's a comedy, but I didn't laugh at all
Priest
How come the credit at the beginning says "BBC production". BBC is a radio station from England right? The film is bad because, unlike other movies, the color was too dull. BBC needs to upgrade their equipment!
The Shawshank Redemption
I thought it's a horror movie since the Chinese title "Full Moon Mid-night Fly Away" sounds like a sci-fiction movie. Actually, it's a movie about prison rape. The film was a bit bored and I missed the first hour and fell for sleep after watching it for 30 mins. A guy from Ireland told me this film could change my life! Really?
Pulp Fiction
The film is just talk talk talk like a talk show. I didn't think what they say were funny. "How French people called Big Mac??? Quarter??" "Fire, Five Fox", "Tomato sauce = catch up = ketchup"???? Very boring. I taped the film and watched it in the next morning with fast-forward key press a lot!!!
Heavenly Creatures
Two lesbians kill one's mother, the film is presented in an opera style, too much opera music at background, boring! the director present the story in a very artistic and abstract way. There was one scene about the lesbian & a guy are having sex and the picture suddenly went to an amuseme park where she was dancing to a stone man. piss me off!
I Love Hong Kong
I suddenly find that how much I love Hong Kong.
I feel that I'm really lucky to be borned here.
Anywhere better than Hong Kong???
We have MD, DVD, all the latest model, we can even catch up what's hot in Japan (paralled import).
So many big shopping malls, nice and beautiful, huge choices of consumer products and cheap (compare to other countries, ha ha ha)
People are wealthy*, the city is advance and nice, superior transportation:
Eastern railway (Trains), Western railyway (Trains), Light Railway, MTR (subway), and the only railway in the world that service the airport!!!
Look at Japan, they actually far worse than us. Expensive living cost, low income, an apartment is bloody expensive, at least twice the cost as in Hong Kong and Japanese's salaries are only 50% higher than us (My teacher told me)!!
If Hong Kong is not that good, why those people who has migrated overseas all coming back**???
Hong Kong is the best, ALWAYS!
*(Note:a doctor in Hong Kong earn HK$60K+ or A$10K+ per month and maximum income tax is only 15%)
** (note: I personally think migrants can*** find a good job overseas)
*** (note: can = cannot)
Kenny's Opinions
Shakespeare
I don't know what Shakespeare is but I'm sure your under-pant is a cheap stuff from China.
Star Trek
Oh.. ye, a guy in the show has an animal ears... only dumber like you believe he is really come from outer-space.. dumb idoit
Jeans
My cousin said that it's common to see an Aussie man has his dick been pushed to the right or left because of his poorly designed jeans (or due to his big cock?)
Washing Machines
Actually, you can cover your washing machine with a thick coat. Not only for reducing noise but for good vibration. Sit on it and relax and I'm sure you will get a good orgasm for an hour. You don't need to buy a Panasonic massage lounger.
New Zealanders
When I met my Japanese friend in a hostel 2 weeks ago, there was a back-packer from NewZealand in the same room. That NewZealand man has been here for nearly 3 months. He worked as a bartender in a night club and saving money for his trip to South East Asia. He told me that Australians brag a lot, many of them are ignorant and believe that the 100" big-screen TV in "Total Recall" is real.
ABBA
I never heard of Ababa (most Hong Kong youth never heard of it, it is an old rock band from swizieland).
Madonna
"Madoona - The Girlie Show" on Hong Kong Free-to-air TV in December, 1993 while she was stilling having her concerts been held in Australia. Ever on Australian TV?
Mobile Phones
I use phone about 15 times a day (below average). My friend gets his phone rings almost every 10 - 20 mins. The guy behind me got his mobile phone ring 4 times during a 10 min bus journey.
Toastie and Chacmul and Fish!
These 3 country-brothers spend at least 3 hours a day here complaining no "fuck" words can be heard on TV. They are retarded, dumb losers. They don't have a proper job so they just sitting in front of their dated, rotatry-dial old TV sets and waiting for "fuck" words. Australian TV, please let them hear some "fuck" word or they can't sleep well...
Telephone Companies
Hong Kong Telecom is the only company providing domestic telephone system. All households in Hong Kong pay HK$68 (A$11.3) per month for unlimited access. People here use phone a lot. On average, one hong konger use phone 28 times per day. Since early 1991, all telephone exchanges here had been digitalised, that is "Tone Dialing".
University
Well, you know, Australia is selling their education to us, you can see Australian University advertisements on newspapers everyday. Why do they target at us if they don't like us?
Volume
Well, back to 10 years ago, I had nothng to complain our TV broadcasting. Until recently, my patient run out. During a TV show (especailly movies), the conversation is soft but action is loud. It's not as exaggerate as Laser Disc but do cause annoying, my father often shout to me "TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!!"
England
From the film, I thought the story background is based on sometime in 19th Century since so many old buildings around. No, I saw cars! God, how come England is so fall-behind? Hong Kong was British's colony but we are so advanced!
Software
Do you think that many Australians can afford to pay thousand of dollars for original software? Well, I can tell you that most of the PC users in Hong Kong have Office97 as well as other latest software installed. They can try all kinds of software that you have no chance to do this in your whole life, you dumb ass.
Sex
9 out of 10 Australian male had been to Thailand for cheap sex (Evidence: Australia has the highest HIV rate in Asia-Pacific region)
Aussie Ignorance
Next time when I see an Australian says "Well, sorry sir, there is no multi-system VCR in the world. All washing machines in the world are noisy." I really want to point a gun to his/her ass and shoot!
Women
Australian woman are rough, sexually hyper-active and not pretty at all.
Video Games
Video games in Australia are extremely dated (except for less professional American-designed games), very limited choices the price is ridiculous. A friend of mine who had been to Australia in 1992 told me that all SEGA Mega-bit video game consoles for sale in Australia were made-in-China while the version for sale in Hong Kong were made in Japan.
Australian TV
Channel 1: Interview with Back Street Boys (not concert, only interview)
Channel 2: Movie "Romancing the Stone" (5th re-run in last 2 years)
Channel 7: Cheap drama from USA "The Cheap File"
Channel 8: Let's talk about politics (the Government Channel)
Channel 10: US Animation "The Simpsons"
Channel 19: Cheap comedy "Murphy Brown"
DVD
No matter how many people says DVDs are great, how high the resolution is. My first impression was the picture is un-natural. And I believe that picture of TV braodcasting (in Hong Kong) is better than DVD!
Western Movies
It seems to me that most award winner western films that must be some kinds of wired plot + sex + violence + drug abuse.
Drugs
9 out of 10 Australian take drugs (Evidence: most of those foreginers who had been excuted in Asia are Australian)
Australia Australia is a refugee camp. nearly all Asians in Asutralia are refugees. By the way, it's a dumb, undeveloped, non-hi-tech land, I don't want to go there.
Japan
Japanese made better games simply because they invent computers, video games as well as video and audio system. That's simple... And American make better Hamburgers :)
Mr Bean
This special program doesn't sound attrctive to me, anyway, I do watch it for a while. Hmmmm.... it's a stage performance. Mr Bean played many roles, a waiter, a church member... I can hear lots of "laughing" (real or fake?) and I just don't think it's any funny. This program was transmitted in stereo (English) with Chinese subtitle.
Neighbours
"Neighbour" is a Australian show, right? (my cousin told me that). It was on TVB-Pearl in 1991 for about 2 months then was stopped due to no sponsors.
Chacmul
You are really funny. you have too much time fooling around. read everything reply every post. Get a job man. I mean a real job not blow job
TV Ratings
TVB-Jade (UHF ch.21 Cantonese) 75% no matter what's on!
TVB-Pearl (UHF ch.25 English) 5%
ATV-Home (UHF ch.23 Cantonese) 23%
ATV-World (UHF ch.27 English) 2%
4-Head VCR's
Lucky me, if i was borned in australia, I would believe the inferior 4-head HiFi VCR that cost me a forunate is the latest/best model in the world!
Washing Machines
Many Australians think their washing machines are the best (well, it might be true in 1960 when Panasonic was not born yet) actually they are the worst. Most Australians are using inferior washing machines and they don't realize that.
Whirlpools washing machines are available in Hong Kong. However, it has to compete against other Japanese brand washing machines in the market here. I asked my colleguaes this afternoon if they think Whirlpools is the best washing machine in Hong Kong. One of my colleguae own one and she said no. She complained that it takes nearly one hour to finish a washing while most Japanese brand washing machines take less than 40 min. Whirlpools maybe the best in Australia because it is the only one available there.
Japanese brand... Panasonic brand is the most popular follow by Hitachi .
Fuzzy Logic computerized control (built-in sensor to monitor washing process and adjust accordingly, auto detect clothes texture and auto adjust water-level, speed etc)
no spinning pole inside (washing machines in Australia have a spinning pole inside and it can damage clothes during a washing)
low noise (you can listen to your favorite classic while using it in your living room, a music will be played after your washing is done)
Stylish and superior design
Made in Japan
31 minutes for the whole course (standard course)
3.5 times more water-flow cycling, washing powder fully dissolved instantly.
best spin-dry result with "four-ports" design (bad translation)
"speed course" available, only takes 20 min for one washing
saving space design
(don't understand)
They are not available in Australia.
Kenny's Quotations
the God send me here to teach you
Stop showing off!!!
I hate people bragging.
I never insult people unless they insult me first.
Most of (Chacmul's) statements are wrong and without supported evidences.
Look at every article he has posted, what a lengthy garbage.
I just want to have funs. I'm to be considered an "odd" guy.
people here are aggressive and disgusting
fuck your gf... fuck her with a rotten pineapple... she is a fucking whore.
You probably say "we don't care, we don't want to know" blah blah blah... Fine, you don't need to know because you used to be ignorant idiots.
no one interest in reading your crappy, long, boring article.
Can you do this calculation: 14+8/2 = ??
what is a koala?
Hong Kong is not really great... but TV is...
Crap in Hong Kong could be a diamond in Australia.
Over 80% white Australian are racists.
Australians = Racisms always true.
I'm trying to open my mind, I am watching something what the majority of Hong Kong people don't.
Nothing to do at night, so i choose to watch TV.
Please choose good GARBAGE for me please.
No, I don't like "Sound of the music"...
A dated, inferior shit goes to Australia and can make lots of money.
crap crap crap... only Australian morns will believe you.
A friend of mine told me that not All White Australian Men hate Asians.
Poor lonely brother, I know you don't have any friend...
I thought Australian pissing in the street quite often.
I guess you must be a fucking stupid dumber.
One doesn't need to speak good English to be sucessed.
My job requires me to sit in front of a computer.
My Aunt's son is my cousin, you dumb ass.
A fucking dumb asshole like you should stay home.
No, my dog, Jeff, a huge German Shephed is fucking you. Check your asshole.
fuck fuck fuck fuck you, fuck off, fuck your ass, fuck your cunt, fuck fuck fuck fuck.... fuck your dog, fuck your pussy, fuck your mouth.. How lovely???
There are more than 600000 people in Hong Kong called Kenny.. HAHAHAHA.
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.
Powdered toast man has been fucked up by Amercian dung. He believes that his 1976's junk is the current model.
Apartments in Asutralia are big, people may have one TV in bathroom, one in each bedroom.
"A piece of shit cost a fortune" is what I heard about Australia...
If you believe what this country brother says, you are absolutely a dum idiot...
And you piss off, keep drinking your Kangaroo's urine!
Australia might be a nice a country to visit (to some people) if you like bush, cattles, crockcoach (lots of them).
Over 80% Australian holdhouse have TV reception problem.
Australia is probably the most yucky country in the world...
I left Australia in March 1995.
I don't have a girl friend, why bother to go to cinema??
Why don't you leave a real e-mail address? What a bastard?
People sick of your messages not mine...
Please stop bad-mouthing Caucasian. You are racism!!! And for those who bad-mouth Asians, you should die as well.
I've been lived overseas for years and not get used to Hong Kong culture after returning home!
If Australia is really god damn good, people should go there for shopping!!!
Most Australians are quite narrow-minded, moreover, the majority Asians in Australia are low-educated refugees.
Australians really good in bragging.
People like you should have their ass be shooted.
you wouldn't know if you didn't read, did you?
I don't want to read
i'm not going to say it again & again because you won't listen.
your opinions are welcome.
your VCR is a dido
and your mother a big sucker
Comments from the Converted
"I really really love you. Keep going guy. Thanks for spending hours for creating a homepage about HA HA HA HA HA (looks who is an idiot?)" - Kenny
"Just brilliant. I've been following Kenny since day 1. I love the man/boy?" - Rick
"I laughed so hard I came in my pants - twice. You can quote me on that." - Matt
"That Kenny Shrine is the best!! Long live Kenny!" - Andrew
"I'm a huge kenny fan and i'm going to make regular pilgrimages to this holiest of shrines..." - Pinky
"I laughed until I stopped." - Robert
"Close to the funniest site I've seen in ages." - Eric
"It IS the funniest site I've seen in ages." - Robs
"The Kenny shrine is THE funniest site this year!" - Geoff
"Long may he live to enlighten us with more of his wisdom" - ChrisH
"A masterpiece" - Dean
"Thank you for enlightenment. Kenny is the god you dumb ass." - Robin
"Very funny!" - Andrew
"It's so funny. I can't stop laughing at it." - Cazz
"BRILLIANT Stuff" - Novice Toastie
"I appreciated this homepage very much" - Brendan
"This site makes my big cock push to the left AND the right....simultaneously" - John
"It bent my wookie!" - Tim
"After following Kennys posts for the last few months, the web site brought back some wonderful memories." - Ben
"Laughing tears!" - S.
"I loved it .. and it is all his own work!" - Anon
"WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!" - Evan
"I seek enlightenment at you feet o master" - Trevi
"You white Austrlina big cock dumb ass funny man." - Quentin
"He IS a God ... and I am a dumb ass." - Chris
Archives
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